If there’s something I’ve learned in the past year, it’s that peace and healing can come from unexpected places. Sometimes we don’t even realize we need something until it’s dropped right in front of us, or in this case, happening on stage right before our eyes.
Allow me to set the scene for you. I won a lottery ticket for Jagged Little Pill while it was in previews last November on the last night of a trip to NYC. I didn’t know much about the show, but I knew Alanis’ music and I was familiar with some of the cast. I took a chance on the lottery because it could have been my last chance to see the show for awhile. Little did I know it was.
So with my lottery ticket in hand, I had no idea how much I needed this show and how it would become a source of comfort for me over the next year. It was the beginning of a journey.
Jagged Little Pill tells the story of the Healy family, mainly focusing on Mary Jane (Elizabeth Stanley), the matriarch of the Healy family. Mary Jane has tirelessly maintained the Healy family image over time, boasting about her husband, Steve (Sean Allen Krill), and building the “perfect” life for their two children, Nick (Derek Klena) and Frankie (Celia Rose Gooding). At a high school party, Nick’s friend Bella (Kathryn Gallagher) is sexually assaulted, and a series of events unravel revealing the Healys aren’t as “perfect” as they once thought they were. The musical deals with topics of sexual assault, consent, substance abuse, trauma, and relationship issues. (As a note these topics will be discussed throughout this post.)
The piece of Jagged Little Pill that touched me the most was the inherent humanness of each of the characters. I’ve seen musicals about teens and families where the characters are either over exaggerated or manufactured stereotypes, and there is often a line drawn between the stage and real life. Jagged Little Pill blurs that line.
I could praise the show up and down for its production value, but what became so important to me about this show is first the range of emotions presented on stage and two, the safe space to experience the catharsis of those emotions.
First, the narrative is heavily character driven. It’s their struggles and emotions that bring the story to life. Personally, I found myself identifying with pieces of different characters, versus identifying strongly with one particular character.
I do want to highlight Derek Klena’s performance as Nick Healy, because it’s an important, multi-faceted narrative to me. Nick, as the oldest son is described as the “Golden Boy” of the Healy family and is referred to as “Captain America” by his sister, Frankie.
Nick is painted as this character who has been raised to be perfect. He’s a straight-A student, he plays sports, he doesn’t go to parties, and now he’s gotten into Harvard—the ultimate badge of honor for Mary Jane in raising the perfect son. It’s not until Nick’s solo number “Perfect” that the audience gets a glimpse of Nick cracking under the pressure of being his mother’s perfect product.
As a former honors student myself, I can identify with that narrative of wanting to get good grades and wanting to make the mark to make someone (most likely family) happy. When you get trapped in this cycle you start to put value in the things you do, or accomplish, and equate that with being loved.
This underlying narrative of the pressure to be perfect is apparent throughout Nick’s role in the story. It’s actually a very rare story to present in a format like this because a lot of it is psychological and that can be difficult to convey on stage. I think Klena was a very strong choice for the role because of his strength in portraying introspective characters. His performance was outstanding and the praise he has received in the role is very well deserved.
Something that is important about Nick’s character is the lesson that being well accomplished doesn’t mean you inherently make good decisions or are a good person. I think there’s an underlying narrative that there is more value in a person than the grades and accomplishments that you can put a number or letter value to them. There’s traits that are just as important, like making moral decisions and doing the right thing when the situation calls for it. While it is a bit of an interpretation, I felt a sense of connection to Nick watching him transform from being a list of accomplishments to MJ, to being acknowledged as her son, first and foremost.
I also want to touch on Mary Jane. MJ is masquerading in her own life as someone who is doing just fine, when deep down she knows she is not. “Smiling” is one of my favorite numbers in the show, because it really captures the essence of pretending to be ok when you’re not. And as the choreography “rewinds” to show MJ going about her day, it starts to unravel how Mary Jane, the “perfect” mother, has some not-so-perfect secrets about her life.
Personally, the most important point of connection in MJ’s narrative is how suppressing an issue in your life never ultimately affects just you. It eventually spirals out and begins to affect those around you. MJ wants to be this super-human mother who knows everything and never needs anything from anyone, but it turns out you just can’t live life that way. Everyone needs someone or support sometimes, and I think it reflects back on that we’re stronger when we have a sense of working together.
For the record, I haven’t experienced addiction or substance abuse. However, I do think it’s worth acknowledging identifying and understanding the issues you have in your life or life experiences, and how your personal trauma can be harmful to yourself and others.
Part of what makes this show so powerful is the way it mimics real life, and turns the mirror back on us. I think whether it was intentional or not, it’s a piece that evokes self-reflection.
There’s something very powerful about the music where it allows a range of emotion within the safety of the show. There’s a blend of numbers that are angry and empowered, and soft and resilient. The cast recording itself is cathartic in allowing yourself to experience such a range of emotion.
Personally, through the anger and sadness in the show, I think it allowed me to make peace with things I didn’t know lingered in my mind. I have never has spontaneous tears watching a show the way I did watching the show. There are just things you would never guess hit too close, and there’s an emotional release in watching it play out on a stage. And there is nothing quite like letting out anger over “You Oughta Know” or making peace with the past over “You Learn.”
The cast recording especially has become a comfort album of sorts for me over the last year. It’s allowed a space to identify and work through some emotions that were perhaps residual from years ago. Sometimes we have the most basic human need to be seen and heard, and I think Jagged Little Pill does that for me, and I’m sure many others.
And so for an album recognized by many as being born out of anger, and a show developed to confront us with narratives rooted in uncomfortable topics, in my life it has come to be a place of peace and healing. And isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?
